Methyltheobromine: Destroying our Future
Never before has drug abuse been so rampant, widespread, and accepted. Modern society literally runs on the alkaloid stimulant drug methyltheobromine (so much that one dealer of the substance advertises this fact in their slogan). While we think we have covered all of the bases in the fight against dangerous recreational drugs, we forget about the mass drug use that is condoned on a daily basis for the sake of increasing GDP numbers, working hours, and profit margins.
Methyltheobromine is a psychoactive stimulant drug derived most commonly from the beans of the C. arabica plant, which grows in Latin America, Africa, and the Middle East. In its pure form it exists as a white crystalline powder, but given the dangers and potency of the pure form it is commonly sold and consumed as a dilute extract drink widely available in convenience stores, truck stops, and diners.
Methyltheobromine is consumed to produce a high, primarily to allow the user to temporarily overcome sleep deprivation and tiredness. It also consumed with alcohol during late-night parties in order to mask alcohol's depressive effects and keep the drinker awake longer. Addiction to the drug occurs quickly, users find themselves having to consume more and more over time in order to achieve the same "high". A tolerance and dependence builds, requiring that the user consume the drug before being capable of performing work for the day.
Addicts may spend up to $4 for a single high-grade dose, with some addicts consuming 4 or more doses in one day.
Overdosing on dilute methyltheobromine can result in irregular heartbeat, seizures, delirium, and anxiety. Severe intoxication can produce effects similar to mental disorders such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Some studies also show that its use contributes to memory loss. Use of the drug's pure form, while essentially unheard of, would produce effects similar to that of pure powder cocaine, given that the two chemicals are closely related.
Withdrawal symptoms of the drug are devastating and can result in severe irritability, headaches, and lost productivity. The cost to our economy due to these effects is likely staggering. Users typically "crash" and can become tired and irritable in the afternoons if they have consumed the drug earlier in the day. The drug's diuretic properties contribute to dehydration, leading to further headaches which the user may treat by additional dosing rather than hydrating himself. Withdrawal from the drug is so prevalent that it is an ingredient in some headache and pain medications, given the sheer number of headaches likely caused by methyltheobromine abuse.
Despite the dangers of this drug, widespread belief is that it is harmless and its consumption in workplaces, restaurants, and other public venues is mostly tolerated and sometimes encouraged due to the temporary cognitive boost it provides. Even more alarming, convenience stores are now selling concoctions of the drug in brightly-colored cans to our children.
We must protect our children by getting this drug out of stores and off the streets. We must empower our police forces and government agencies to arrest those who are manufacturing and peddling it. We must impose stiff mandatory minimum sentences for those convicted of dealing in this drug, for the dangers are all-too-real.
Before we grab the torches and pitchforks, it would be wise to research the terms "methytheobromine", "hypocrisy", "yellow journalism", and "satire". Then possibly revise any personal belief that selective, xenophobic knee-jerk politics with the long arm of the law being used to stigmatize, stereotype, and criminalize people have any place in a modern, stable society.
CREATED/WRITTEN: 2011-12-19 21:12